[Though, being shut off so many times must have been frustrating, even if it wasn't painful. He was left there all alone, too. Aether wishes he could've been there, helping Xiao.
...Then he hears about Vanitas.]
Back then... right? [His words are said slowly, then he closes his eyes.] He broke his promise to me.
...he offered you up like you meant nothing to him. Once again, he treated your body and will like his own.
[ Xiao is calm as he says it, but he lowers his gaze slightly. He knows he shouldn't have hurt Vanitas as badly as he did. He should be better than this, but to even imagine Aether being passed around like some toy... he can't take it.
Using someone, taking their will, their body... some old scars do not heal well, despite the millennia that has passed. ]
[ He doesn't, Xiao wants to say. He uses you for his own gain, making you part of his antagonizing. He doesn't want to think about what else Vanitas might use him for. What if someone accepted?
Yet the yaksha keeps his mouth shut. It isn't what Aether needs right now, and he hopes their imprint doesn't make him feel the strange pain in his chest. ]
I'm sorry, Aether. I can't protect your heart, no matter how much I wish I could.
[Aether's heart may be still and silent in his chest but it aches, so it's difficult for him to recognise if the feeling belongs to him or to Xiao. He doesn't look at his friend, unsure if he should argue or agree, if he should tell him that Vanitas offered Aether to find someone else.]
I know. I'm just... lost.
[He breathes in and out, like it could help him gather his thoughts.]
He told me I should leave him, but I refused. I care about him too much to let go.
[ Xiao isn't sure what to do. This isn't something he deals with, doesn't know how to deal with it, and love is...
Love, platonic or romantic, always seems so painful to him. It's only been attached to loss. He loved his other yaksha, and they all died. His Lord loved Guizhong (maybe he was even in love with her, it wasn't his place to ask), and she died. If it wasn't war or madness, it was time.
...or it was disloyalty. Like with Vanitas.
Slowly, and a bit awkwardly, the yaksha opens his arms for Aether. Maybe that would help? ]
[Aether watches him for a moment, blinking at the open arms welcoming him.
It may be awkward, it may be unexpected, but this is exactly what Aether needs right now. Without a second thought, he throws himself into the yaksha's embrace and hugs him back tightly, thankful for his company.]
...Thank you, Xiao.
[His voice is soft as he smiles lightly against the other's shoulder.]
[ Xiao does his best to gently hold Aether, still terribly awkward at this but happy to provide something that isn't steeped in violence. It's... been a lot, lately, and he's a lot more comfortable killing monsters than aiming his spear at people.
He's not sure what to say to that 'thank you', so he ignores it and just stays where he is until the blond is the one to pull away. ]
[Aether appreciates the quiet moment, taking comfort in the other's presence, sinking into his embrace as much as he can. It takes a long time for him to finally pull away. A smile shyly shines on his face when he does.]
Xiao, do you... think you could stay here for tonight? [His eyes are pleading.] I don't want to be here alone. There's... too much going on my mind. [But with Xiao, it may be easier to fight all those unwanted thoughts.]
[ He likes that smile. It's a lot better than the tired desperation.
The request is a bit surprising, but not something Xiao will deny. It's simple, after all, and he has no reason to refuse. ]
If you wish. I will watch over you.
[ He assumes from the other side of the room or something, nothing else. He's very much buried the idea of 'napping together', as mentioned at Dan Feng's. ]
[ It's been a lot harder to tell himself that here, with his adeptus powers gone... but the tree soul helps. Still, he is rather tired after being shut off a bunch of times again. ]
...but if that is something that would aid you, then I will.
[ That smile makes him want to topple mountains and fight Patho-Gen one-handed just to see it again. Xiao blinks, briefly looking down at their joined hands before Aether's next words stun him a bit. ]
...eat nightmares?
[ That sure was not something he would have imagined. His heart drops somewhere into his guts, and tries to push away any memories that want to raise their ugly heads. He's not that bloodhound any more. He's Xiao. ]
[If things manage to calm down in Aether's life, then maybe he can give more of those smiles to Xiao. For now, the traveler's expression falls slightly, knowing all too well that this topic brings back bad memories to his friend.]
Yeah.
[His voice is quieter, but he doesn't let go of Xiao's hands, squeezing them to ground the other in the present.]
Don't worry. At least I can help others have better dreams... but I do see some parts of their nightmares.
[ Yeah, he's not expecting a lot of those smiles in this place, so he'll treasure it. Instead he returns the gentle squeeze, even if he can't quite meet Aether's eyes again. Eating nightmares, seeing parts of them... it's still better than eating dreams and leaving people in despair. ]
I see. I'm glad you have a choice.
[ Part of him misses the taste, though. The texture of a dream. Almond tofu is as close as he can get to it, but not quite. When you're starving and you have to choose between eating snow or dreams, it leaves a strange fondness for what kept you alive, no matter how depraved it was. ]
[Silence falls between the two of them, before Xiao speaks again, reminding Aether of rest. The traveler nods with a small smile. He hasn't been sleeping all that well in the past days.]
Right... Let's go.
[Carefully, he leads Xiao by the hand to the bedroom. It's a small room with a big soft bed taking up majority of the space in it. A small dresser can be found in the corner. There's also a mirror on the wall, tall and wide, making the bedroom seem more specious than it actually is.
Aether finally releases Xiao's hand as he prepares to go to sleep, taking off any pieces of his clothing that would be in the way, before dropping onto the bed and gesturing for his companion to join him.]
[ Xiao follows along, giving the room a look. It seems safe enough, so he follows Aether's example and takes off any sharp or bulky items, such as his shoulder guard and censer.
He hesitates for a moment with his gloves, but then slips those off as well. They used to be 'stained' his elemental color like his fellow yakshas were, but now they look a lot more like burnt wood rather than flesh.
Glancing at Aether, sits down on the side of the bed. It seemed like a good place to watch the other man sleep. ]
[Aether furrows his brows slightly as he sees Xiao just sit there, not moving to lie down with him. A hand reaches to the yaksha, touching the lower part of his back, fingers trailing there.]
Rest with me... Look how much space is here.
[He got this bed because he wanted a comfy place for more than one person to sleep in. So many people have sleepovers with him.]
[ He does his best to not flinch at the touch. It's just Aether, after all. He can relax here, even if that is still a really strange thought. Sharing a bed, though... it seemed improper.
Xiao rubs the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly, a stray ginkgo leaf falling from his hair as he does. ]
I will. I just... I haven't shared a bed in two millennia.
[ The other yaksha very commonly all slept together in tents and bedrolls, usually using Bosacious as a mattress and flocking around Indarias during cold nights. Even back then, it took a lot of cajoling to have Xiao join them, but he did eventually give in most of the time. ]
[His hand withdraws and for a moment Aether is silent. His form shifts on the bed, further away to give Xiao as much space as he needs.]
Maybe it'll be better like this then? There is distance between us and this bed can comfortably fit three people at once anyway.
[He knows that from experience, but shhh.
Come to think of it, did Aether ever say that he has two lovers, not one? It doesn't seem like an important information at the moment, especially since he's trying to keep his mind away from dwelling on Vanitas and Vincent's words.
"We don't deserve you" they said. "Find someone who would truly make you happy".
He can imagine even Xiao would tell him the exact same thing.]
[ Xiao's expression softens a little at that, and he scoots over to lie next to Aether with a small space between them. Smaller than what the blond offered, since he obviously wanted some closeness... and Xiao can never say no to making Aether happy or comfortable.
...and no, he has no idea Aether has two lovers. He just thinks its Vanitas.
Slowly, he holds out his hand again for the blond to take if he wants to. Even if they might not snuggle (yet), the yaksha wants him to feel better. It's true that he would say the same things as Vanitas and Vincent if asked - that he's not worthy, and that Aether deserves better. However, he also knows that the traveler's heart is his own, and none of them have the right to tell him what he feels. ]
Rest. I'll stay as long as you want me to... and I'll try to rest as well.
[The distance between them shrinks and Aether smiles at that, welcoming the closeness. Xiao indulges him so much and Aether is incredibly thankful for it. He takes the yaksha's hand carefully running his thumb against the now wood-like skin, before closing his eyes with a warm smile.]
With you by my side, I know I will rest well.
[There's just this familiar sort of comfort when Xiao is with him.
Aether means to stay awake until he makes sure his friend rests, but... instead he slips into a peaceful slumber.]
[ Xiao watches him for a while, keeping his breathing soft and slow to not bother Aether as the other man falls asleep. Then he turns his back against the Traveler to not encroach on his personal space too much, and closes his eyes. He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep... but the exhaustion from the earlier shut-offs do pull him down eventually.
It's not restful, though. The yaksha doesn't like to sleep often, because it almost always ends in vivid nightmares. He's never really dealt with all the trauma in his life, so his subconscious is desperate to... but nightmares are not helpful in this regard.
First is a common dream. Trapped, struggling in the karmic binds. Seeing himself at the same time, masked and ghostly raising his spear against Zhongli. Even more desperate to get free. Common topics. Losing his sanity. Losing the few people he treasures.
Then binds suddenly turn into chains, finding himself crumbled on a bloodied floor. Xiao is younger, eyes feral in fear and long, tangled hair soaked in blood and viscera. Jade feathers adorn his arms, and small wings are hanging in unnatural angles on his back. They nearly lack feathers, a few golden ones spread on the floor.
This is an old, old dream.
He's face down, and there's a horrid presence in the room, filling it with dark pressure. Xiao can't see them, though - even if he knows it's his old master. Something heavy is thrown before him, and he looks up only to see a woman under that heavy, destructive sleep spell. It makes him tremble, trying to back away only for the chains to tighten. To demand.
They spoke of eating dreams. Of course that means he'll think of the times he was forced to. Clawed hands reach again, grabbing her throat. He doesn't remember her face - there were so many - but he leans over her and sucks the dream right from her mind in a rush of white light. Xiao knows she'll never be happy again. She'll always long to dream. His master wants the people aimless, desperate. Anyone else, he'll take the spear to. Carve, maim and kill, before crawling to his master's feet like the bloodhound he is. ]
[Aether awakes at some point, maybe because he no longer can feel Xiao's hand in his. Golden eyes fall on the back of his companion and he notices that even though he sleeps, the dreams are not peaceful.
Xiao must suffer from nightmares now. He never gave Aether permission to eat one, but he wants him to rest, to finally find comfort in sleep, or maybe... even experience a good dream of his own. The traveler scoots closer, touching his head to the back of the yaksha's. He focuses on his companion, feeling the negativity, the darkness that lingers in his mind. He can feel it slipping into him as he slowly drains the nightmares away, feeding on them. It gives him strength, but... it also brings him visions.
The feeling of being trapped is overwhelming. The tragedy that unfolds is no better. He can see Zhongli there, someone who Xiao definitely would never fight. He can see blood and disfigured limbs. And feathers mostly gone. He senses darkness, deep and oppressing. Then there's a woman with dreams stolen from her.
Aether gasps under his breath, his form shaking ever so slightly at the visions, eyes wide now as he stares at Xiao. His gaze softens soon and he carefully presses close to his companion, his white wings wrapping over the other protectively.
The past, as horrid as it is, should not be haunting his friends in their dreams. If he can eat all of their nightmares away, he will do it, all to give them a moment when they can truly rest.
With that in mind, Aether drifts into slumber once more until morning comes.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'm glad you're safe.
[Though, being shut off so many times must have been frustrating, even if it wasn't painful. He was left there all alone, too. Aether wishes he could've been there, helping Xiao.
...Then he hears about Vanitas.]
Back then... right? [His words are said slowly, then he closes his eyes.] He broke his promise to me.
no subject
[ Xiao is calm as he says it, but he lowers his gaze slightly. He knows he shouldn't have hurt Vanitas as badly as he did. He should be better than this, but to even imagine Aether being passed around like some toy... he can't take it.
Using someone, taking their will, their body... some old scars do not heal well, despite the millennia that has passed. ]
no subject
He told me... he didn't deserve me. [Those words are spoken softly.] That all he can offer me was pain.
[And then Vincent said the same. All those memories come back to him at once. He tried to forget, pretend that he can fix everything.
And now he feels lonely and exhausted.]
no subject
Yet the yaksha keeps his mouth shut. It isn't what Aether needs right now, and he hopes their imprint doesn't make him feel the strange pain in his chest. ]
I'm sorry, Aether. I can't protect your heart, no matter how much I wish I could.
no subject
I know. I'm just... lost.
[He breathes in and out, like it could help him gather his thoughts.]
He told me I should leave him, but I refused. I care about him too much to let go.
no subject
Love, platonic or romantic, always seems so painful to him. It's only been attached to loss. He loved his other yaksha, and they all died. His Lord loved Guizhong (maybe he was even in love with her, it wasn't his place to ask), and she died. If it wasn't war or madness, it was time.
...or it was disloyalty. Like with Vanitas.
Slowly, and a bit awkwardly, the yaksha opens his arms for Aether. Maybe that would help? ]
no subject
It may be awkward, it may be unexpected, but this is exactly what Aether needs right now. Without a second thought, he throws himself into the yaksha's embrace and hugs him back tightly, thankful for his company.]
...Thank you, Xiao.
[His voice is soft as he smiles lightly against the other's shoulder.]
no subject
He's not sure what to say to that 'thank you', so he ignores it and just stays where he is until the blond is the one to pull away. ]
no subject
Xiao, do you... think you could stay here for tonight? [His eyes are pleading.] I don't want to be here alone. There's... too much going on my mind. [But with Xiao, it may be easier to fight all those unwanted thoughts.]
no subject
The request is a bit surprising, but not something Xiao will deny. It's simple, after all, and he has no reason to refuse. ]
If you wish. I will watch over you.
[ He assumes from the other side of the room or something, nothing else. He's very much buried the idea of 'napping together', as mentioned at Dan Feng's. ]
no subject
I want you to nap with me.
[He did not give up on that idea!]
You could use some rest, too.
no subject
[ It's been a lot harder to tell himself that here, with his adeptus powers gone... but the tree soul helps. Still, he is rather tired after being shut off a bunch of times again. ]
...but if that is something that would aid you, then I will.
no subject
Thank you! It will, definitely!
[He's so happy he grabs both of Xiao's hands.
...Then he realizes something.]
Ah, I forgot to tell you something. It looks like to sustain myself I need to... eat nightmares.
[Interesting how things turn out.]
no subject
...eat nightmares?
[ That sure was not something he would have imagined. His heart drops somewhere into his guts, and tries to push away any memories that want to raise their ugly heads. He's not that bloodhound any more. He's Xiao. ]
I'm sorry. Nightmares are so bitter.
no subject
Yeah.
[His voice is quieter, but he doesn't let go of Xiao's hands, squeezing them to ground the other in the present.]
Don't worry. At least I can help others have better dreams... but I do see some parts of their nightmares.
no subject
I see. I'm glad you have a choice.
[ Part of him misses the taste, though. The texture of a dream. Almond tofu is as close as he can get to it, but not quite. When you're starving and you have to choose between eating snow or dreams, it leaves a strange fondness for what kept you alive, no matter how depraved it was. ]
You should rest, Aether. You look tired.
no subject
Right... Let's go.
[Carefully, he leads Xiao by the hand to the bedroom. It's a small room with a big soft bed taking up majority of the space in it. A small dresser can be found in the corner. There's also a mirror on the wall, tall and wide, making the bedroom seem more specious than it actually is.
Aether finally releases Xiao's hand as he prepares to go to sleep, taking off any pieces of his clothing that would be in the way, before dropping onto the bed and gesturing for his companion to join him.]
no subject
He hesitates for a moment with his gloves, but then slips those off as well. They used to be 'stained' his elemental color like his fellow yakshas were, but now they look a lot more like burnt wood rather than flesh.
Glancing at Aether, sits down on the side of the bed. It seemed like a good place to watch the other man sleep. ]
no subject
Rest with me... Look how much space is here.
[He got this bed because he wanted a comfy place for more than one person to sleep in. So many people have sleepovers with him.]
no subject
Xiao rubs the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly, a stray ginkgo leaf falling from his hair as he does. ]
I will. I just... I haven't shared a bed in two millennia.
[ The other yaksha very commonly all slept together in tents and bedrolls, usually using Bosacious as a mattress and flocking around Indarias during cold nights. Even back then, it took a lot of cajoling to have Xiao join them, but he did eventually give in most of the time. ]
no subject
Maybe it'll be better like this then? There is distance between us and this bed can comfortably fit three people at once anyway.
[He knows that from experience, but shhh.
Come to think of it, did Aether ever say that he has two lovers, not one? It doesn't seem like an important information at the moment, especially since he's trying to keep his mind away from dwelling on Vanitas and Vincent's words.
"We don't deserve you" they said. "Find someone who would truly make you happy".
He can imagine even Xiao would tell him the exact same thing.]
no subject
...and no, he has no idea Aether has two lovers. He just thinks its Vanitas.
Slowly, he holds out his hand again for the blond to take if he wants to. Even if they might not snuggle (yet), the yaksha wants him to feel better. It's true that he would say the same things as Vanitas and Vincent if asked - that he's not worthy, and that Aether deserves better. However, he also knows that the traveler's heart is his own, and none of them have the right to tell him what he feels. ]
Rest. I'll stay as long as you want me to... and I'll try to rest as well.
no subject
With you by my side, I know I will rest well.
[There's just this familiar sort of comfort when Xiao is with him.
Aether means to stay awake until he makes sure his friend rests, but... instead he slips into a peaceful slumber.]
no subject
It's not restful, though. The yaksha doesn't like to sleep often, because it almost always ends in vivid nightmares. He's never really dealt with all the trauma in his life, so his subconscious is desperate to... but nightmares are not helpful in this regard.
First is a common dream. Trapped, struggling in the karmic binds. Seeing himself at the same time, masked and ghostly raising his spear against Zhongli. Even more desperate to get free. Common topics. Losing his sanity. Losing the few people he treasures.
Then binds suddenly turn into chains, finding himself crumbled on a bloodied floor. Xiao is younger, eyes feral in fear and long, tangled hair soaked in blood and viscera. Jade feathers adorn his arms, and small wings are hanging in unnatural angles on his back. They nearly lack feathers, a few golden ones spread on the floor.
This is an old, old dream.
He's face down, and there's a horrid presence in the room, filling it with dark pressure. Xiao can't see them, though - even if he knows it's his old master. Something heavy is thrown before him, and he looks up only to see a woman under that heavy, destructive sleep spell. It makes him tremble, trying to back away only for the chains to tighten. To demand.
They spoke of eating dreams. Of course that means he'll think of the times he was forced to. Clawed hands reach again, grabbing her throat. He doesn't remember her face - there were so many - but he leans over her and sucks the dream right from her mind in a rush of white light. Xiao knows she'll never be happy again. She'll always long to dream. His master wants the people aimless, desperate. Anyone else, he'll take the spear to. Carve, maim and kill, before crawling to his master's feet like the bloodhound he is. ]
no subject
Xiao must suffer from nightmares now. He never gave Aether permission to eat one, but he wants him to rest, to finally find comfort in sleep, or maybe... even experience a good dream of his own. The traveler scoots closer, touching his head to the back of the yaksha's. He focuses on his companion, feeling the negativity, the darkness that lingers in his mind. He can feel it slipping into him as he slowly drains the nightmares away, feeding on them. It gives him strength, but... it also brings him visions.
The feeling of being trapped is overwhelming. The tragedy that unfolds is no better. He can see Zhongli there, someone who Xiao definitely would never fight. He can see blood and disfigured limbs. And feathers mostly gone. He senses darkness, deep and oppressing. Then there's a woman with dreams stolen from her.
Aether gasps under his breath, his form shaking ever so slightly at the visions, eyes wide now as he stares at Xiao. His gaze softens soon and he carefully presses close to his companion, his white wings wrapping over the other protectively.
The past, as horrid as it is, should not be haunting his friends in their dreams. If he can eat all of their nightmares away, he will do it, all to give them a moment when they can truly rest.
With that in mind, Aether drifts into slumber once more until morning comes.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)